Sunday, June 7, 2015

Dear Amy,

Are you sure you want to come back to Utah? Because I've been thinking about this and I am just not sure what I would do about my chocolate problem if you came back to the US. What's my chocolate problem? I am no longer satisfied by American chocolate. The other day at work I was craving some chocolate and the only thing that I had on hand was a Hersey kiss. Which I used to love by the handful. So I ate this Hersey kiss and I tell it did not satisfy. It was actually disappointing. My little trip to Germany and France has ruined all American chocolate for me. 

There is an advantage to this predicament. I am not tempted in the slightest by the candy bars at the registers. 

But back to the problem, if you come home to the US I am a little worried about my chocolate resource being cutoff. Because if you are there and if I come visit you every other year or so, I can get enough chocolate to last till my next visit. (Yes, I can do that. It is a weird super power I was born with. I still have some chocolate from my October visit. I also have some Cadbury eggs from two Easters ago.)  I've decided that when my European chocolate stash is all gone it must be time to go back to Europe. And if I can't get over there, your mom would probably go some time and could bring some back. Yes, I have thought about this.

OK. Really, having you and your family here would be better than chocolate. But every now and then I wonder "What about the chocolate?"   

​Love you, 


Monday, January 19, 2015

Up on one

I was planning on sending 2014 out with a bang. Instead it went out with a snap. I had some great goals and things that I wanted to accomplish and change in my life before the ball dropped and 2014 made its grand exit into 2015. But all that came to screeching halt when I took one step and SNAP. That snap happened in my right foot. Ouch! Final prognosis. Lisfranc. AKA. broken arch. What the...? How the...? Why? Who knows. I am an active person. I run. I hike, I play. I am on my feet all day long. How did this happen in one step? Doctor didn't have those answers. He did have the remedy. Surgery and 8 weeks of living life on one foot.

Surgery was a scary word to hear. The last medical procedure I had was when I had to get nine stitches when I was eleven. Oh and there was that time when I was 17 years old and I had to get my wisdom teeth out. Scary experience.The dentist had to give me "laughing gas" to keep calm me or else I would have bolted from the butcher's table, I mean chair. And even with the gas I found nothing to laugh about.

Back to surgery. I was not totally comfortable with the idea of being put under and having a perfect stranger, no matter how qualified, cut into my body and drill into my bones. But I went with it. I learned that my doctor was one of the best and the facility was very good. And I wanted to get back on two feet ASAP. Surgery went well. Doctor has been very pleased with the recovery. And I am now at the tail end and just a few days away from having the cast removed.

As unfortunate and inconvenient this whole experience has been, it did give me the opportunity to experience a multitude of firsts. Such as... First surgery. First IV. First time seeing the inside of an OR. First time living handicapped. First time being partially bedridden. First time taking Oxycontin. First time missing multiple weeks of work and not leaving the country. First cast.

The experience has not been without its learning curves. I learned the affects many and different drugs can have on my body. I learned about the pain that comes after some one has cut into your body after the anesthesia has worn off. I've learned how to manage my handicap and gain back some independence. I've learned the monetary cost of  having a body part repaired. I've learned to drive with my left foot. I've learned that the body is amazing the will compensate for a limb that is MIA. I've learned that asking for help is really more effective than trying to do everything by myself. I've learned there are a lot of very nice people in this world. Friends and strangers alike are willing to stop and hold a door or carry a tray. They are willing to assist and do what they can to make things easier and more comfortable for me. I've learned a new type of patience. I've been forced to slowdown and take time to accomplish tasks.   

I've always been thankful for my body. God has blessed me immensely. I'm not a competitive athlete. But I've always had the energy and stamina to live the active lifestyle I desire. With zero to none limitations and medical issues. But over the last few months I've gained a greater appreciation for my body. It will heal. It is healing. I can move past this and get back with my active lifestyle. My main fear has been that there would be long-term or permanent repercussions from this whole ordeal. That I wouldn't be able to do everything that I could do before. Or that I would always experience pain in my foot. Right now I am not planning on any of that and I am doing everything I can to heal properly. The important thing and greatest blessing is that I will heal. I am in awe of the people that live with physical disabilities throughout their whole lives.  

I'm not sure why God felt the need to inflict this upon me at this very moment in time. I was not feeling a shortage of trials in my life. But I am thankful for the many blessings and tender mercies I have felt through it all. If this was something I needed to experience, I was in a good place to experience it. First, I had good insurance and I am in a position financially that although it was a financial inconvenience it was not a major financial strain. Second, the invention the knee scooter. That person deserves a Nobel. Others see it as a great way to get around. Definitely, a lot easier than crutches. This is true. It also allows my hands to be free. Third, I am surrounded by family who went out of their way serve me and help me get through. And last, although it was a bummer to spend the holidays on one foot and it was very frustrating to not be able to go out and play with friends when there was a sledding or snow shoeing event. It would have been even more frustrating if this had happened in the summer and I would've kept from hiking and all my summer loves. There is always a silver lining.  

Sunday, July 6, 2014

...on top of the world and so close to Heaven

Okay. So the 100 happy days didn't make it very far. Not for a lack of happiness. But just for a lack of photos and remembering to snap shots in the moment. But that is just fine. I don't need photos to prove to world that I am happy.

There are other fruits of happiness. Peace. Health. Energy. Love. Or maybe happiness is a fruit of these things.

Today I was listening to Music and the Spoken Word as I was getting ready for church and the message was on gratitude and happiness. We are happy when we are grateful. And we are grateful when we are happy. You can't have one without the other. I will share more when it is posted. I will need to read or listen to it again to give it justice. They were good words for me to hear today.

Other ramblings: Summer is flying by. I am enjoying every moment of it. At the beginning of the summer I was looking at the mountains to the east and I started thinking about how I look at those mountains every single day and I started to wonder if there was a trail that went up. The only problem was, even though I look at those mountains every single day, I couldn't tell you the names of each of the peaks. So I started to ask people what the names were. Turns out they have names. And there are trails that go up to the top of them. So one of my summer bucket list items became to hike to the top of Mt Olympus. And as luck would have it I had a coworker who planned on doing the same thing. So we went together. It was a great hike. And may have become one of my favorite hikes within spitting distance of my house. Okay, not quite spitting distance. But I couldn't believe how close the trail head was and that I had lived here nearly my entire life and had never done this hike before. Well, now I can say I have done it. It is checked of my bucket list. And I have the pictures to prove it. It was a beautiful hike. A beautiful view. And a fun day. On top of the world and so close to Heaven.

Friday, March 28, 2014

100 Happy Days: Day 4

I cannot even begin to describe the happiness I felt to get my car back in working condition. I missed her for the 5 days we were apart. I didn't realize how sick she was until I got her fixed. I am sorry that it took her completely breaking down for me to finally get her in and looked at. But she is better now. And running better than she has in long time. She seems happy. And I am happy.

100 Happy Days: Day 3

Just walking through these doors makes me happy. It's a place I can. Step away. Forget my worries. And feel peace and the love of God. 

100 Happy Days: Day 2

Today I was happy to ignore the pile of laundry and the bathroom that is screaming for attention to finish a project for someone I love. And it always make me happy to release the creative powers that are in me. 

Monday, March 24, 2014

100 Happy Days: Day 1

Today I was happy running. It felt good to be outside in the sunshine and move. It also reminded me how much I love my body. Not in a "I'm so hot, check me out" sort of way. But I love my physical capabilities. I love that my body allows me to go from 0 to 6 miles in one day with minimal regrets the next day. I love pushing myself and seeing what my body and I can accomplish together. It's been a good relationship. A relationship I always want to guard. It motivates me to care for my body the best I can. And never do anything that could cause harm or ill-will. My body and good health is something that I so incredibly thankful for. And never ever want to take for granted.